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We’ve got some news, friends!
You’re reading the title right, and no, this is not a drill! This fall, we’ll be welcoming a new member to the UDH crew. And this time, they (presumably) won’t have any fur. 😉
I’ve had a little time to type out this post, so I thought I’d start with a few questions I’ve already been asked by friends and family. I’ll follow up with another post in the future with more info if I don’t address your questions below!
Video: Surprise! Little One On the Way! Telling My Parents
- At one point, I had to tell Mom to stop opening her present so fast so Dad could catch up.
- Timing a “bleep” is harder than you might think. 😂
- My mom choosing to call the baby “he” was not based on anything… she had no idea of the sex (see below in the post on that)
- Referring to my parents as “Sausage” and “Cheese” is an inside joke that came from K’s parents being called “Mino” and “Pa” by K’s niece… I thought it sounded very Southern, so he gave them these monikers because they are from Wisconsin.
Questions (Assuming You Might Want to Know?)
Yep, I’M PREGNANT! AND TYPING THAT OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME! Knocked up. With child. Preggers. Bun’s in the oven, “in the family way” (I’ve now learned there are quite a few weird phrases I’ve never heard before).
When are you due?
Baby Carter is due November 5, 2020.
So that means you’re…
21 weeks along. Just a little over half-baked!
Carter is K’s last name.
Was this a surprise?
No… but also yes. 😂 I’m aware that answering a question like this on the internet is obviously very personal, but because I haven’t really spoken publicly about our plans much before, it could very easily be a surprise to anyone that isn’t a close friend! But we’ve been talking about it for quite a while and set an “all systems go” date, so to speak, for my birthday in May.
This next part is something I have some mixed feelings about (and talking about), because it involves my doc (birth control removal, annual checkup, etc.). I could probably go into a longer post about this particular topic alone, but a couple of years ago, I (reluctantly) had to switch insurance because of self-employment. As a result, the doc I’d gone to for a long time and adored was no longer on my plan. I found a new doc I liked ok, but she was a little pushier at the whole urgency-of-baby thing than I was comfortable with. Between her advice (she laid pretty heavily on my age) and a number of friends that have struggled with infertility or miscarriage, I made the assumption it could very well take us a while, too.
I wouldn’t say I was overly worried about it, but it was definitely a talk K and I had often. Were we ready? Should we go ahead and try, in case we do have some struggles, and it’s a year or two (or more) before we have a baby? We didn’t want to inform either of our parents of our plans or get their hopes up prematurely, so I didn’t really want to ask our parents beyond what we already knew of their pregnancies and our siblings (we knew of some possible issues there, but not the full details).
We took the “if it happens, it happens” approach leading up to my birthday. I thought that I would start tracking things with more diligence (via a fertility app) and take that data back to my doc in May to start talking about our options (again, because she gave the strong impression that if we did have fertility issues, we wouldn’t want to wait long before considering more help… I’ve come home from my last couple of annual checkups feeling as though you could probably blow dust off my ovaries).
Instead, I found out I was pregnant the week after WorkbenchCon in February — around four months earlier than expected! ❤️🤯 So, there was a little bit of shock involved for K and I. I casually took my first pregnancy test ever expecting it to be negative, and “the stick turned blue” almost immediately. K was traveling for work when I gave him the news (I asked him if he wanted me to plan something more elaborate for if/when he found out and he said no, to tell him the moment I knew!). I suppose nothing truly prepares you, so… a planned surprise?
How did your family react?
I told my sister almost immediately, right after the first ultrasound. I just whipped her a text message and waited for her response (she didn’t know we were planning on a baby either). It involved an expletive or two, but it was really fun for her to know and to keep the secret with me for a while. We also told one of K’s brothers and his wife (because sharing the news is a really fun high and K wanted a piece of that action).
We wanted to wait until we got most of the genetic testing results back before we announced it to the rest of our families. K is the youngest of four but has one niece, and my mom has been saying for a while now that she didn’t expect either of her children have kids (she calls our dogs her “grandpups”). So, this was going to be a huge surprise all around!
I told my parents at 12 weeks on my birthday via video call. A lot of you already know that I share my birthday with my dad, so it was a fun opportunity to “trick” them into finding out the news. I wrapped up two sonogram pics in a frame and put it in a gift bag, which my mom picked up when she dropped off my birthday cake earlier that afternoon (she was pretty bummed we weren’t doing our normal joint birthday celebration because of distancing). I had them open one frame each upside down on the call, and Em recorded their reactions for me. My mom was totally shocked, while my dad was more neutral (it’s very him). Her first reaction… and the second… and the third… are absolutely priceless. I just wish I could have had a hug at the end is all. So, there are some bittersweet feelings.
We waited about a month longer to tell K’s parents because he really wanted to tell them in person and was willing to wait until social distancing guidelines relaxed a little bit (his mom is immunocompromised, so we wanted to quarantine everyone involved first). Our news unintentionally caused his parents to be so excited that they didn’t get a wink of sleep the first night! We told them right as we arrived, which was pretty late at night. We debated waiting until morning, but K and I had already waited so long and wanted to spill the beans! I still feel a little bad though.
Over the next few weeks after that, my mom and dad spread the news to the rest of my family, and K made a few more calls as well.
Waiting so long to tell family is also the reason why I’ve waited so long to write this post. We couldn’t share the news online until the grandparents knew!
Was it hard to keep it a secret?
Yes! Of course. I suck at keeping secrets. I couldn’t help but drop hints on Instagram (I shared a version of the duckling clip from the above video on IG stories).
Do you know the sex?
Yes! We found out the sex while we were doing the genetic testing, around 12 weeks. I’d never planned to do a “gender reveal party” but I did have the doc share the info with my sister and her husband before K and I found out the sex. It felt like that was something I could do to make things feel more real/special/involve my sister in the big news, so I let her pick the way to tell us the same video call where K and I told my parents about the pregnancy. I knew my sister would get creative, so that was really fun to see her take the helm and put her spin on things. I’ll share that part of the video in a future post.
Where are the ultrasound photos?
The short answer is, I’m just not into sharing them online (other than their brief appearance in the above video). It’s totally normal for most people to share sonograms on social media to announce one’s pregnancy. After all: no baby pics yet exist, the sex is often unknown at the time of the announcement, and you may not have even developed the telltale pregnancy bump or ordered any baby clothes yet. Showing a positive pregnancy test also weirds some people out in a “there’s pee on this!” way. So, how exactly else do you capture something that can’t really be photographed?
This is one of those “great for you, but not for me” types of things. I once saw a Facebook pregnancy announcement post (friend of a friend, maybe?) where a fraternity brother of the father replied “see the inside of Julie’s uterus, check” and it cracked me up. That, in a nutshell, is kind of how I feel about it, too! 😂
There are a million and one decisions to make about what to share and what not to share, and anyone who has ever met me in person knows I’m pretty much an open book. But we each have our own personal weirdness meter, too. This one falls on the “fine to share in person, but don’t share on the internet” side. 🤷♀️
How has the pandemic impacted your pregnancy?
I found out I was pregnant toward the end of February, just as things started locking down, which means I’ve spent my entire pregnancy with the Coronavirus pandemic in the mix. I’ve read up a few blog posts about adjusting to pregnancy from when things were “normal” to “pandemic”… but there wasn’t really a normal for us to begin with.
On the one hand, social distancing works pretty well if you’re newly pregnant and work from home. My fatigue and morning sickness was pretty rough, so with things all around being canceled and everyone staying home, I didn’t have much FOMO to deal with. My typical schedule for projects and “Mount Inbox” slowed a bit without requiring disclosure of my absence (because it was happening to everyone), while K set up a home office and made those first couple of months a little easier.
On the other hand, I’m also experiencing lots of new, and many of the warm, fuzzy, “fun” things one might expect with announcing the pregnancy, celebrating with family and friends, etc. has largely been cut out of the equation. Telling family became phone and video calls vs. experiencing those big moments in person. I doubt there will be a shower or celebration of any kind until after the baby is born. Pregnancy is already an adjustment to get used to life “before baby” vs. after, and there are times I feel like the pandemic only compounded how instantaneous that loss of our “old life” was. I try hard to focus on the positive things, but I’ll admit I do get very sad about the expectations I had of what this time in my life might be like. Zoom calls exist and that’s great and all, but telling my parents in person was something I’d imagined for a long time… and that didn’t happen. I also have a ton of anxious questions K and I think and talk about.
Taking one day at a time is easy enough to say, but harder to do in practice in a situation like this, especially with things changing every few weeks. Is there a way for us to have a “babymoon” somewhere safe, with just the two of us? Can we have a maternity photo session and stay safe? Will K even be allowed to be in the delivery room? Will we be able to have newborn pics? So, I’m sad about/have thoughts like that. Where there was no FOMO before, I have a ton of it now.
Also, honestly, I get VERY angry at the lack of consideration I see in others with regard to face masks. Georgia has a large number of cases and a large number of people not giving a shit, and it’s really stressful at a time where I’m supposed to focus on reducing stress. Between pregnancy and asthma, I’m immunocompromised — so we are trying to take every precaution we can while still doing my job, his job, etc. But to see others arguing that their comfort is more important as a “freedom” than protecting the elderly (my parents! K’s parents!), the disabled, essential workers, folks with vulnerable partners, etc. makes my blood BOIL. It is SO hurtful. I wear a mask all the time in DIY and have for years because of sawdust and solvents and the desire to protect my lungs. It takes some getting used to, but unless it’s medically necessary to not wear a mask, I simply don’t get why it’s too inconvenient to care. It such a small thing, yet this may have huge consequences that I don’t think people even think about. And not even with regard to contracting the virus itself, but whether or not hospital policies will allow K to be there before, during, and after birth (I’m scared of being alone at such a crucial moment if something goes wrong or to be separated from the baby for long). It also plays a role in considering what alternatives we have, and what is covered or not covered by insurance in a public health crisis. Let’s just say I hate group projects, and this only confirms why!
This pandemic is exactly why I hated group projects in school.— erin mallory long (@erinmallorylong) June 25, 2020
How are you and K feeling?
Emotionally, most of the time, I don’t feel all that different. Kinda neutral, in fact… and sometimes that makes me feel a little weird, like I expected to have more mood swings… or something? I think it’s just a mix of emotions where the highs are all mixed in with moments where I feel kind of drained, so the end result is neither. I find myself more worked up about the news than anything else, so I try to stay informed while also giving myself some space since stress management is vitally important during these months. There’s a lot to think about with a little one on the way and what parenting will be like so that we raise a kind, compassionate human.
In the first trimester especially, I didn’t want to chance anything. Even in a position of not having experienced pregnancy loss, I have enough friends who have, so it’s never not been on my mind. I kept feeling like I might jinx myself to buy anything baby-related, or to share the news too much, or even save any baby-related bookmarks on my browser history.
I get worried about making K feel special in all this, too — especially because I feel like Covid is stealing some of this experience from him as well. He’s not allowed to come to my ultrasound appointments, and that SUCKS. I completely understand & respect why, but I get anxious about getting bad news alone, and I really wish he could be there to hold my hand. I know he does too. Thankfully they’ve allowed video calls, but it’s not at all the same as having the support directly in the room and feeling more included. Things are still kind of up in the air with what might happen this fall and what that means come delivery time (and things are different by state; someone I know is allowed to bring her husband to appointments), so we’re trying not to dwell on it too much but also be prepared for the rules to change a few times before then. Balance is tricky!
Physically, on the other hand, there have been more noticeable ups and downs. The first trimester was pretty rough because of exhaustion and “morning sickness” (P.S., I’d love to send a big box of spiders to the dude who popularized that misnomer), and I’ve been focusing on catch-up with weight gain in the second. I also HATE my boobs now (I knew they would get bigger, but I already had plenty… come on). No strange cravings yet, but pickles are probably my favorite snack (loved ’em before pregnancy but they taste even better now!). I also developed a constant clicking in my left ear (as though there’s water in it) because of pregnancy-related congestion. Most of the other typical things (ligament pain, dizziness, sleep issues, headaches, etc.) are uncomfortable but manageable. I also REALLY miss my craft beer!
All in all, I think I may be just one of those people that isn’t crazy about pregnancy (I already have body issues and struggle with that), and I’m learning to accept that not everyone loves being pregnant even when they love the result. So, I just keep thinking about little fingers and toes and remind myself that it’s normal to get sick of the taste of prenatals when you’ve chewed them every day for months. 😉
K doesn’t always communicate what he’s stressed about, especially if he thinks it will put more stress on me. But it manifests in ways I notice, like his nesting, financial planning, or checking in with me. Where I feel less of a sense of urgency to cross off to-do lists (mostly out of tiredness), he has turned the activity up a notch (especially the guest room — he wants his mom to stay for a little while when the baby comes). He’s also doing all of the grocery shopping so I can stay out of public spaces, doing most of the cooking (phew!), and I can really see the effort he’s making in this short time-before-baby that we spend together. In general, he’s kicking butt. ❤️
How is the baby doing?
Baby Carter is healthy and developing as expected! This is what I focus on whenever I get down about the Covid stuff, as I KNOW how superficial the rest of the other things I get bummed about are by comparison. We feel extremely lucky to have a healthy kiddo on the way.*
*In other words, even though I’m whining in this post, it’s not lost on me to be fully grateful even though my mind sometimes focuses on the negative and worry.
I got my first kick at around 4 AM about three weeks ago; I tried really hard to wake K up to feel it with me, but he was sound asleep. It made everything feel WAY more real and felt my first wave of feel-good hormones. K has since felt a few more thumps and enjoys reading articles to my belly. That part has been really fun and sweet. At the 20-week ultrasound, I was SO relieved to hear all the baby’s measurements and see them active.
Have the pups acted any differently?
They cuddle more, so I’m sure they sense a change of… something. K and I have made lots of predictions on how they’ll behave once the babe arrives.
(And, as usual, they’ve been less than cooperative trying to get an awesome shot with my custom made signs from my friend Lizzy! It’s the ONE thing I tried arranging early and had huge expectations for how the photos would go… did not work out as I hoped! 😂)
Do you have a name picked out?
The first name, but not the middle; we’ll reveal it when they’re born. We have also been calling the baby by all sorts of names we know aren’t going to happen purely for our amusement.
What kind of content are you going to share about the baby?
First and foremost, this is a DIY/maker/home improvement blog, and there are zero plans to change that! I’ve shared about dating life, pupdates, and written other personal posts in the past, and I think things will stay the same in that regard. My “mommy blogging” participation will likely consist of a few sporadic updates about my pregnancy (finding out the sex, a taste test of mocktails and the slew of non-alcoholic spirits that have come out recently, maybe the birth story or items I found helpful during pregnancy/first few weeks?). Nursery-related DIYs are certainly in the realm of possibility, but I’ll have a little hesitation to post about builds because people have STRONG opinions on baby projects. But I may just let everyone get over that and post anyway!
I also have some strong feelings about the little one’s privacy as they develop, so I’m cautious about over-sharing their details (info about myself, sure, I’m comfortable with being an open book… but in the same way I am with keeping things more private for K, I feel some distance in that regard is healthy).
Where will the nursery go?
My “old” office!
Given that this is a small house, we don’t have too many rooms to turn into the nursery. But during the work-from-home Covid adjustment, K took some time to make the guest bedroom into his own space. He even stole one of the desks I built for my office. Update: he’s now stolen both!
Consequently, I noticed how little of a distance his door was from my own home office, and I felt totally smothered! So, I moved my computer work downstairs to the dining room and realized 1) how much I love looking out of the big window in there and 2) how little we use that space for dining. It was pretty easy to see that I could make the change permanent and happily make the dining room my new office.
That leaves my old home office primed to turn into a nursery! It’s right next to our bedroom. It also sort of domino-effects the plans for other rooms, but I’ll get to that later. Update: I’ve now made my secret nursery Pinterest board public, so you can see some of the rooms I’ve been inspired by! I started it a while back when I first started thinking about baby decor, but had to keep it mum for a bit so no one caught on too soon! 😉
Can I give you advice?
I’ll regret saying “yes,” so I’ll cautiously say sure — because I already know it will happen anyway! I think getting tips on breastfeeding or ways to relieve aches and pains will all come with the territory. And a lot of it may be awesome and extremely useful because it’s nice when someone’s gone through it before (such as when I asked two of my friends about picking the right prenatal vitamin).
That being said, expect me to find my own way or to not be too excited about advice unless I’m asking for it. After all, I’m used to doing lots of research to try to figure out how to do something, and learning as I go as well. This is certainly intimidating, because baby. But my approach isn’t differing all that much.
I know there’s a lot I don’t know — almost to a deliberate level — because there’s too much to know and too many conflicting opinions. I’m researching each thing as I go so as to not feel too overwhelmed, and I’m enjoying what I’m learning on my pregnancy apps. Some days I go down long rabbit holes of information seeking, and some days I just want pizza and to watch TV. I’m confident I’ll have the support system I need, so that’s comforting. Setting expectations is going to be tough because we have so many enthusiastic siblings and family members waiting on this little peanut to make their debut. I’m super grateful for that, but anxious too.
I’ve also experienced plenty of unsolicited advice and opinions on social media as a DIYer, so I just plain accept the reality that some judgmental negativity or “just you wait!”-type comments will come my way. I’m fully prepared to flex my eye-rolling muscles every time someone wants to tell me how sleep-deprived I’m going to be or how much our lives will change. 😂 I will be sensitive to criticism, even if it’s constructive, like most humans in my position would be (I feel like “Are you a doctor? More importantly, are you MY doctor?” will pass through my lips at least once in the next few months).
I haven’t really done many Q&A style posts before, but I’m game to give it a try here! Feel free to submit a question in the form below, and I’ll work on addressing them in the next baby-related post.
Update: thank you, all, SO MUCH for the love and comments on this post! It means SO MUCH, and I’m so glad we’re going to be sharing this with you! Mood boards for the nursery & new office are coming up, as well as some of the other DIYs we’ve made progress on in the last couple of months but aren’t totally finished. It’s time for so many changes, and I’m grateful that so many of you are coming along for the ride!
I’m so thrilled for you! I’d kind of wondered if there might be plans in the works when you talked about moving your office, but just wanting a change is a totally legit reason, too!
So, virtual hug of congratulations from a long-time blog reader and random internet stranger.
Thank you Juliet! Yeah, I dropped a few hints knowing that of COURSE it would plant a seed regardless, but it’s just plain true that I had one room I don’t use enough (old office) and new room I hardly use ever (dining room)… so, better space planning would be good anyway! I know I’m going to absolutely love having all that light when I need to take photographs and having the upstairs walls encased in sound-dampening drywall will be beneficial for the baby too!
Congratulations!! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is uneventful and enjoyable! I didn’t love being pregnant either but man totally worth it ❤️
Thanks Jess! I keep thinking about the little squeaks and little feet and stuff… the kicks are already a fun part (I’ve now figured out that the babe REALLY likes apples and it always wakes them up to tumble around a bit, ha!).
Congratulations!! I’m so happy for you! ?
Thank you Megan!!
First of all – huge congrats!!! I know you said you don’t want advice, but this is honestly more of a…sharing of experience I guess?? I just had my second child about 6 weeks ago, so right smack in the middle of this fun pandemic! Luckily my husband was able to be present – I think this is the case in the vast majority of hospitals and hopefully will continue to be! Honestly, compared to my last birth almost 5 years ago, the pandemic didn’t really change too much and it was a great experience overall – so hopefully that makes you feel a bit better! Yes we had to wear masks, couldn’t wander the hospital halls, etc., but everyone was super careful and we felt safe and supported the whole time. There was a real “we’re all in this together!” feeling. One thing I changed this time around was that my provider offers a choice of delivering with midwives or doctors, and this time I chose the midwives (I changed cities since my last birth but my last practice also offered the choice and I chose the doctors). You still deliver in a hospital and there are doctors on call if needed, but the midwife attends the birth and you don’t actually see a doctor during your stay unless you want to. I’m sure every practice is different but one thing I REALLY appreciated this time around was that my midwife (who was around my age and awesome) was in the delivery room almost the entire time and was just super supportive in anything I needed. With my last doctor-assisted birth, the doctor was lovely but also just kind of popped in once or twice and then to catch the baby. It did occur to me that if my husband hadn’t been able to make it for whatever reason this time, I would have really appreciated the midwife support even more. This may not even be an option for you, but if it is, I just thought I’d share, particularly with the giving birth during COVID angle! As I said I’ve gone both the doctor and midwife route and both were totally fine and I think you’d be fine with either option, just wanted to share my experience :-). I also feel so hard the disappointments that come with being pregnant and giving birth during quarantine. Needless to say staying home 24/7 and not seeing friends and family was NOT the pregnancy or maternity leave I expected! Although we’re of course happy to be safe and healthy, I think it’s still ok to be disappointed that the expectations of this time don’t match the reality. Sorry for the novel – congrats again!!
No no, thank you for sharing Jules! I absolutely 100% want to hear stories like this! I’m definitely more in the camp of “it’s fine to tell me your stories, I just don’t want to hear judmental advice” which I’m SURE you’re plenty familiar with (and your story wasn’t that at all!). This did make me feel a little better because so far, K’s research was turning up that they won’t let him in for labor, except right as I’m delivering. So the idea that I could be alone for an extended period of time when some of the hospitals around me have high C-section rates (which I’d prefer to avoid) is a bit scary, like I don’t want to NOT have him there and advocating for me. I’m definitely planning on talking with my doc more now that we’re getting closer to considering all of it, and luckily the practice I go to is both a doctor’s office & midwifery so there’s a whole team of folks I meet (we kind of cycle through with each appointment, I guess? So through doing that I actually found a doc I like a LOT and would opt to go back to her as my main doc going forward… wasn’t crazy about the midwife I met but there is more than one and I haven’t met the rest). Thank you for sharing your experience!
Long time reader, but I have never commented before. I too recently had my second child about 8 weeks ago. I went with the midwife route as well and both my husband and I felt very comfortable and loved the midwifes. I was in labor for 19 hour and the midwifes shift changed every 12 hours or so, so went had 3 different ones, but the experience was amazing as was my first birth with them. They truly advocate for the mother to have the birth experience she wants, in all ways, and if things need to change they are very good about talking to you and your partner and making sure you are comfortable with the change and not pressuring you to make a choice you might not like or feel comfortable with (Also if you haven’t heard about having a written birth plan for the hospital, look it up. it will help if K isn’t allowed in until the end and your not in a position to advocate for yourself, just tell them to refer to your birth plan as to whats okay with you and whats not) I am a mother who had an c-section with my first child, and a natural birth with my second. I too wanted to avoid a c-section, and managed it my second go around, but with COVID-19 hitting as i was looking to deliver, my fear went haywire of having to have a second c-section. They aren’t the worst thing that can happen, but it is scary. With the midwives for my first that ended up in the c-section, they talked to me and I felt completely in control of that decision, they didn’t pressure me into it, (my daughters heart rate went way down multiple times, I had been in labor for 3 days and was 16 days past my due date, it was time was was fully informed by the midwives all the way through my labor of everything). I hope this helps, I know this time is amazing and scary all at once, and that’s without the pandemic adding to it. Congratulations!
THANK YOU so much for all the info, Kirstin! I’m definitely making this a priority at my next appointment and I’ll definitely look that up! ♥︎♥︎♥︎ And congratulations on your new little one!
Thank you, Mariele!
Congratulations to you both!
A healthy baby and healthy mom is the most important thing, but it’s ok to be upset about the pandemic changing your plans and taking away things you wanted too.
I was never told this, but I so wish I had been. So many people (so so many) will find fault or a way to make you feel 2 inches tall after birth (or before). Tell them to shove it where the sun don’t shine. You guys are going to be great parents. You got this!
Thank you Jennifer! And oh, that sounds so true already! I’ve already had a little bit of a personal gripe with family members asking “how the baby is doing” that completely removes me from the scenario… as though I’ve lost my personhood! It was the first piece of advice I gave out as a pregnant chick to another parent-to-be (“Remember that she’s still a person, and others will talk AT her like she’s an incubator”). I know judgment will be a thing I’ll have to deal with just for the sake of sharing online, so that will be a learning experience for sure! Thank you for the well wishes! <3
I absolutely HATED being pregnant. It was an absolutely awful experience for me. But, I do love my little peeps more than anything so it was worth it. Not that I ever want to be pregnant again.
Just do your best, and it will all be fine!!
Much better than a mini camper! Congrats to both you and K!
Haha, true! Speaking of though, I fully anticipate K to want to renovate a mini camper when we finish Ruby! ?
Nothing but good wishes for you both on your wonderful news ! You will be great parents – its obvious how much both of you are preparing for this… and supportive family will help.
Be You and it will all be fine!
Aw, thank you so much! <3
I’m so excited for you two!!! Loved the announcement video.
I didn’t love being pregnant either, but had friends that really loved it. But it’s all good, I think our bodies all react differently. My unsolicited advice is to get as much done before the baby comes as you can. It’s hard doing projects with a new born, but gets much easier as they get a little older.
Don’t stress, it’ll work out!
Thanks Amy! I’m definitely doing what I can, but it seems like K is in more of the get-the-things-done mode than I am! I mostly want to sleep and relax since I know that will be in short supply as well! But I’m definitley thinking ahead in terms of content and will be working hard to try to get everything ready, especially since I’ll basically go on maternity leave during Q4. And we all know how busy that can be!
I read this as my almost-one year old- sleeps on me. I didn’t think I wanted a child and my husband and initially said, “no”. Then a few years ago we decided one just one! I was 35 when I had her so I was right at the AMA cusp. I was so paranoid the whole pregnancy and there wasn’t even a virus pandemic going on!
Pregnancy was not super enjoyable for me either but it was the one time I was okay with myself in a bathing suit! I was lucky not to have health related issues but it was extremely uncomfortable and I’m assuming a sure sign for how stubborn this girl is going to be :)
I do know I wasn’t prepared for the emotions. Lordt, the emotions I didn’t know I’d have. I also wasn’t prepared for the arguments with my husband. “They say” the first year is the hardest and I believe it. We are almost through it though so it’s gets easier, right? RIGHT?!! ?
You and K will do great as parents. The love you have for your dogs alone shows that you are caring and compassionate people. You seem to have a great support system in your families and I can’t wait to see what baby diy/crafts you have up your sleeve. I didn’t know there was drama out there about baby diy?!
I hope the rest of your pregnancy and your delivery goes smoothly and send the best of luck to you both!
Thank you so much for your sweet comment, Laura!
Yes, there seems to be kind of a “am I ok to post this?” dilemma with baby-related DIYs, especially in terms of baby safety. It’s more of a liability thing than anything else (using the right products, what’s considered safe by some & not, etc.). I imagine that posting something I build has a higher chance of criticism if it has to do with an infant/toddler (one DIYer mentioned she got over 1000 messages alone on CURTAINS for her nursery… crazy, right?). I also read one guy who likes making wooden toys how much he gets comments from people tsk-tsking the products he uses to make them. So, I’ve casually observed this myself for a few years but now I’m anticipating experiencing it directly! ?
I am so very happy for you, I like how you phrased it (new to the pack). Just love that.
Thanks Carmen! Lizzy came up with such fun signs! I can’t wait to use that teeny “new to the crew” sign when they’re born!
Congratulations! I’m going to give my unasked for advice, lol – do what feels right and best to you! That was my mom’s advice to me 28 years ago when I was pregnant with my son. For example (and this is just a personal example, not something I’m saying you should or shouldn’t do), I was told not to rock (or nurse) the baby to sleep because he would never be able to get to sleep by themselves. I did it anyway, and I guarantee you that my son was able to get to sleep on his own in time and I treasure that time with him when he was an infant.
Parts of being pregnant were good for me, but lots of it wasn’t, so you’re not alone in that :-) What a wonderful new building project :-)
Thanks for the tip, Patty! I agree totally — I’m sure we’ll wind up using advice and finding it doesn’t work for us and then figuring it out as we go! No two babies are the same, so I hear, ha! But one tip that seems pretty wise is to “just add water” (taking a bath, letting them play with water, etc.) to calm/soothe/entertain. I am really looking forward to the snuggles!
There’s nothing in life quite like parenthood! You’re gonna love it, even the poopy diapers, spit ups, potty training, and so on and so on! Enjoy life as a parent and teach your child to enjoy life, by example. This is one of the most exciting times of life! I’m so happy for you!?
Thanks Brenda! <3
Congratulations! I’m almost 20 weeks with twins after 2 years of IVF and being pregnant during this pandemic is NO JOKE! Since we used all of our embryos this is the only pregnancy we’ll ever have, and I too feel sad knowing we can’t celebrate the “normal” way we wanted with family or having a shower or anything like that. Nevertheless I am always so thankful every appt that goes well. Good luck to you and hoping everyone stays safe!
Congratulations on your TWINS, Breanna! That’s so awesome! I imagine that this, too, will be my only pregnancy, so there’s definitely some bittersweet feelings going on. Hopefully, we can start a new trend of super chic post-pandemic baby celebrations for all the mamas that missed out on the “normal” pregnancy stuff. ;) And even though you’re just slightly behind me date-wise, the fact that it’s twins could mean you have yours first, right? So exciting!
Yes, their final “eviction” date so to speak is actually your due date! They won’t let me go past 38wks, but my doctor expects them to come some time in october anyway. We’ll see! I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for your updates in the coming months!!
Then you’ll also have to let me know if you come up with anything fun for a Halloween costume, too! I’m determined to give it a shot even if we have nowhere to wear a costume to. ?
Oh Sweetie, just start accepting the fact that you’re never ready for a life change like this, whatever anyone says or thinks. This is a big one and will change you in ways you can never imagine, but Congratulations!! Babies can be a lot of fun once you get past the brain dead I just want to sleep stage. You seem to have a pretty good support system and that’s really big. Seriously, I wouldn’t have made it through my first one without my MIL, colic is a beast. Glad hubs is on board with everything since he will be a big part of it, so many men aren’t. Just warn him that he will be forgotten at times until you both get into the rhythm of new lives, it happens and then it passes. Most of all, just relax and have fun!
Congratulation! Such happy and exciting news.
Congratulations! Such happy news. I’m so glad for you. My advice about getting advise is to nod your head, say “I’ll think about that” and then just do what you want anyway. Worked for me.
Haha, that is EXCELLENT advice Sherry! Thank you!
I will keep this short Mate, Fantatic news.
With so many people routing for you. You will be fine.
And about people not wearing a mask, It’s just the same over here in England.
Stay safe. Loads of Love from
Tony and Sandra ( Norfolk, England )
Thank you, Tony & Sandra! Stay safe. :)
Congratulations! What an exciting time for both of you. Dang covid has messed with everything in our lives. Just dwell on the good outcome.
Haha thank you! And even if I have nowhere to go, I want that epic belly costume! ??
Congrats! Love the cheese and sausage nicknames, but I’m from WI so of course I would. My only “advice” is to remember that no 2 pregnancies are alike. I had horrid morning sickness with kid 1 and nothing of the sort with kid 2. It’s really a crap shoot. And now I’m a Karen cause I’m encouraging you to have more kids while you’re still pregnant with #1. Apologies. Enjoy all those kicks and hiccups. Those you will miss after baby is born, though you will likely curse them when they keep you up at night or running to the bathroom.
Thank you Megan! To be honest, this may be our only one. K is not as convinced as I am, but we’ll see. I’m a night owl as it is, so I enjoy the late night kicks because it’s just the two of us (they’re actually kicking as I’m replying to comments!). The bathroom part definitely sucks as well as all the other less-than-sharable gross body changes, but after the morning sickness subsided, it was easier to remind myself that things change pretty quickly and none of this is for long, even if it’s uncomfortable! Now that we’re on the other side of halfway, I keep thinking more and more about all the little baby snuggles. Looking forward to it.
Sorry for the late comment, but a huge congratulations to you and K!!
What a crazy time to be experiencing such a big milestone in life. Please don’t be down on yourself for the various thoughts you experience! There are tons of us out here having the same kind of thoughts. :) I share your sentiments on the people who are just too inconvenienced to wear a mask, too. I don’t use Facebook, but my husband does and has shown me so many disturbing comments from people we know and…let’s just say my circle of friends has shrunken a bit this year.
I don’t have kids, so don’t have much to offer in the way of pregnancy or newborn advice, but something I’ve come to realize as I get older is just how important it is for parents and caregivers to help foster a curiosity about the world and a love for learning. I firmly believe being exposed to more people, ideas, customs, perspectives, etc. is what creates a compassionate, empathetic human being, which is something this world will always need.
I’ve followed your blog for years and as someone else mentioned, it feels a bit like a long distance one-sided friendship. :) So I’ll take the liberty of saying there’s no way you could be anything but an awesome mom. Congratulations again!
Thank you so much for your comment, it made my day! I totally agree (at least on the part of exposing kids to lots of curiosity, learning, customs, perspectves, etc.). And the shrunken circle. I thought my group of friends was a lot bigger, but have realized that there just isn’t room for hate and conspiracy theory craziness like I’ve seen (I actually stay off Facebook but when I log in, it feels a lot like cleaning house). Even though it’s somewhat one-sided, I love our friendship and the connections I make through the blog! The generosity, camaraderie, and well wishes I experience here is like no other. <3
Congratulations on your’s and K’s biggest adventure!!! What a joy that baby will bring to both of you…a joy you never knew even existed….a love greater than you’ve ever felt….and a life full of wonderful times, trials and learning something new every day!! Just follow your maternal instincts and most of all, don’t forget to just enjoy your baby, a precious gift from God! I’m so excited for both sets of Grandparents as I’m a Gramma and a grandchild is the best gift a parent will ever receive!!! So, so very happy for all of you!!
Thank you so much Karolyn! Our parents are over the moon and our siblings can’t wait to meet the babe. It’s going to be a fun few months of anticipation! :)
Since I haven’t had a chance to speak to you yet, Congrats!!!!! I am so excited for ya’ll and happy to welcome a new Carter to the family! You and K are going to be such great parents. Mostly because you aren’t afraid to do the hard stuff. Distant hugs to all. I hope Stella won’t be too jealous having to share her stay at home mommy.
We can’t wait to see you soon, Amy! The belly is officially OUT so that will be fun when we come by. I’ll speak to K about when we can next plan for it (so we can make sure we take precautions for you, too).
Sarah, I’ve been following you every since you and Kit did the staircase makeover challenge EONS ago. Your content has always been stellar and you’ve been such an inspiration as I embarked on my own homeowner journey as a single <30 yo female. All that to say, you are amazing and I am SO happy for you and K! <3
Thanks Renee! I’m crazy nervous about this project in particular but as we get closer, it feels more and more real (especially now that I’ve had a chance to share it all out). Thanks for following along for so long, too!
I’m so happy for you and K! Congrats!
Thanks Emy! So crazy how fast things are changing. November will be here before we know it!
Congratulations! There is no joy like a baby. My only “baby” graduated high school Saturday. It has been an amazing 18 years.
I stopped looking at all of my social media a couple of months ago and only interact when I get an email update. I was so happy to read yours!
Stay safe and healthy.
Thank you, Danielle! We’re doing our best to stay safe and very excited. :)
Congrats! I just had my first in November and I am so glad I was done with the hospital and pregnancy before all of this. I can’t wait to see what you do with the nursery, and I hope you post some baby-related DIYs (though I get why you might not, the internet is wild).
First: Congratulations! And second, hah yes, I know if I use the wrong paint, wrong stain, don’t think hard enough about little fingers or tipping over or something, I’ll probably never hear the end of it! But I also have tons of ideas on what I might want to do (I’ve actually had a secret Pinterest board I’ve added ideas to for a long time, so there’s lots of potential at least!). I’ll probably end up sharing but put massive disclaimers on everything, too just to cover my tracks (I already have them automatically posted, but I’ll probably double down with the baby stuff).
Congratulations!! We are in the same boat. I’m due in September with my first. My doctor was concerned about my age (and I have PCOS), so we decided to wing it for a few months before we were ready to start trying. We got pregnant two weeks later! A first pregnancy during a pandemic is a lot more stressful than I was ready for, but we’ve got this! Best wishes!!
Thanks Colleen, and congratulations on your little one! It does make me feel a little better that there are other moms-to-be in the same shoes. ♥︎ There’s so much to know and do!
OMG~ Congrats to you and K!! Your Mom’s reaction was adorable.
Thanks Reenie! I am so glad we recorded it. It will be something I hope we can show the babe when they’re older :)
Congratulations Sarah! Been reading your blog long enough to feel like a one sided friendship.
One thing I learned is, if K (or you) is nervous about the birth, look into a doula. They can help concentrate on the medical side while you concentrate on relaxing and K concentrates on you. Oh, and take lamaze even if you don’t plan on forgoing drugs, because they want you to wait until you are so far dilated until they give you drugs. So it’s still helpful.
Other than that, I have every faith you’ll be a great mom.
Thanks Ang! Getting lots of great advice this week and taking notes! ♥︎ I have been considering a doula already because of Covid, but I’ll add lamaze to the to-do list.
my youngest just turned 6, so i don’t have any COVID related advice, but i will say that my contractions were coming and i didn’t feel they were too awful. the nurse asked if i wanted my epidural and i told her nah, it wasn’t that bad yet and i didn’t want to waste it. LOL!! she then said that now when they put it in, it’s regulated by a valve and doesn’t ‘wear off’. seriously? why had TV failed me!?!? anyway, i had my epidural after being induced due to high blood pressure, and i barely remember 2 consolidated hours of my 19 hour labor. i had my husband with me and truly wonderful nurses– i believe that it all works out the way it should, and i sincerely hope your experience reflects that as well!!! congrats!
Thanks so much Erin! <3 I think I’ll plan for the epidural myself, but I hope things go smoothly regardless!
So first congrats! Just had ours before all of this. I was high-risk, but she was healthy in the end.
My advice for that is, if you have to deal with any extra doctors like weekly “monitoring” – bring a granola bar or an easy snack to get em kicking when they want it. Since both of us work full time most of the doctor visits were only me logistically, but I got to know the nurses & tech pretty well. I had some strong swelling and would pretty much prop my feet up and relax with a cold pack 2-3x a week in the end. Oh and lived in Maxi dresses the last trimester. Inlaws documented some at a local hospital, on their travel blog, (website link, heh that tile surround isn’t grouted yet….). Since most of the child prep classes are online now, see if K can attend (even breastfeeding) if he can. On breastfeeding, take a class, don’t give up, keep trying, and get a pump beforehand. I had a period with formula when trying to establish a supply with a manual pump. 30 days before due date is the magic time for insurance to send a pump, you can submit everything beforehand instead of letting it get burred with other activities.
That’s all so helpful, thank you so much for sharing! Much appreciated.
My “baby” is now 14 and taller than me, but here’s my only advice. If you plan to breastfeed, 6 weeks is the magic time for things to click into place. That was my experience and when I said that to friends at the time, they all said, “oh yeah, that’s what happened to me, too!” My response was why did none of you think to tell me that at any point in the last 6 weeks when I was frustrated and sleep deprived? :-)
Good luck, and congratulations!
Haha, thanks Kellie! I’m kind of feeling that way about a number of things I’m now learning of as of this pregnancy. Just simple things like never hearing how common dental issues are with pregnancy, or different things that happen during delivery that no one seems to mention. It makes me wonder about all the knowledge people are just walking around with every day like it’s commonly known and… nope. Here I am at 36 and learning a LOT of new things! I have high hopes for breastfeeding but we’ll see how it goes!